Archive for September, 2006

Cloud No. 9

Posted: September 25, 2006 in Thoughts

Many people in the recent past have asked me why do we use Cloud No. 9 to indicate happiness.

Well … I guess Herez the answer…

The popular etymology references the 1896 edition of the International Cloud Atlas which defined ten types of cloud. The ninth cloud was the cumulo-nimbus rising to a height of 10 km, which is the highest a cloud can be. There is, however, no good evidence for this.

The 1960 print of the Dictionary of American Slang (Wentworth & Flexner) includes “cloud seven”, the usage of which seems to predate “cloud nine” by a few years. Other etymolgies reference Buddhist or Christian lore, and even Dante’s Divine Comedy, but again there are no reasons to prefer these versions.

What the dictonary says:

Cloud Nine: (idiomatic) a state of happiness, elation or bliss; often used in the phrase on cloud nine.

Usage:

He was on cloud nine for days after she agreed to marry him.

Popular songs:

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Chequered flag for Michael Schumacher

Posted: September 11, 2006 in Formula-1

Michael Schumacher Michel Schumacher, Formula 1’s most successful driver announced his retirement after winning the Italian Grand Prix yesterday. He will now retire after the end of the season. The remaining 3 races will be his last 3 races as an F1 driver.

From being a go-kart champ at the age of 6 to being a world champion 7 times, Schumacher has broken all kinds of records in the F1 history. The numbers speak for themselves:

  • 7 Titles (1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004)
  • 68 pole positions
  • 90 grand prix wins
  • 1354 career points
  • 75 fastest laps
  • 13 Wins in a season (13 wins out of 18 races in 2004)

With 3 races to go and just 2 points separating Schumi and Alonso, these numbers are set to improve. Will Schumi be able to grab his 8th title? Only time will tell. Alonso is clearly struggling with his cars setup off late. I won’t be surprised if Schumi overtakes him in this season’s championship. Millions of fans all around the world will be hoping and praying for this to happen. It will be the best sendoff to a legend who has made a huge impact on the world of motor sport.

The turning point of his career was his first ever race in F1. Racing for Jordan, he finished 7th in his first race. The Benetton team singed him for the very next race! He then went on to win the 1994 and 1995 world championship under Benetton.
He has been instrumental in catapulting Ferrari’s fame on the F1 tracks. Since the time he joined not-so successful Ferrari team in 1996, he has won 5 titles under this team and made them the most competitive teams in F1. The scarlet-red color has almost become a cult on the F1 tracks. Any track on the F1 calendar now has a sea of red in the spectator stands supporting the team and Schumi.

The German driver has been noted throughout his career for his ability to produce fast laps at crucial moments in a race and for his abilities in the wet, earning him the title “Regenmeister” (rain master). One example of this talent was the 1996 Spanish Grand Prix, where Schumacher took his first victory for Ferrari in dominant fashion, despite the fact that his car was notably inferior to the Williams cars. At one point, Schumacher was pulling away by several seconds per lap in the torrential downpour. Another notable win was the 2001 Malaysian Grand Prix, where Schumacher took intermediate tires while everybody else took full wet tires after a monsoon hit half the track. Within a handful of laps Schumacher had charged from 11th place to the lead, eventually taking a dominant win.

Schumi has been known to be a ruthless driver around the F1 circuit. He has won very few friends on the track because of this. But lets face it, F1 is a very competitive world and nothing comes easy.

Schumi’s biggest plus point of recent times has been the 2004 season where he won 13 out of the 18 races in the season. His biggest low point was however when there were ‘team orders’ by Ferrari was at the 2002 Austrian Grand Prix where the team ordered Barrichello, who was leading the race, to move over for Schumacher to take the win.

At the end of 2006, Ferrari will define Schumacher’s new position within the reorganized Ferrari team, following his retirement.

Schumi will be definitely leaving a huge void in motorsport after his retirement. Everyone will surely miss him!

Follow this link to know all about Michael Schumacher, the Legend.

Management Lessons

Posted: September 1, 2006 in Thoughts

Story # 1

It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: “Do you know the time, because my watch is broken”

Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you”

Fox: “Hmm… But it’s a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more”

Lion: “Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed”

Fox: “That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches”

Lion: “Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed”

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf:
“Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken”

Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you”
Wolf: “You don’t expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV”

Lion: “No problem. Do you want to try it?”

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene :

Inside the lion’s cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson
In the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.


Story # 2

It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: “What are you working on?”
Rabbit: “My thesis.”
Fox: “Hmm… What is it about?”
Rabbit: “Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.”

Fox: “That’s ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes!”

Rabbit: “Come with me and I’ll show you!”

They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: “What’s that you are writing?”
Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.”

Wolf: “you don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?”

Rabbit: “No problem. Do you want to see why?”

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, “What are you doing?

Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears.”

Bear: “Well that’s absurd ! ”

Rabbit: “Come into my home and I’ll show you”

Scene :
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson
In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

Jokes from MunnaBhai – II

Posted: September 1, 2006 in Movies


PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,
par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI
Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI

Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu